The only shoulder I really had to cry on was my own. In those tears I found the confidence needed to pull through - Paul Travis
As the late Marilyn Monroe once shared, “I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved for myself and for my talent.” How many of you reading this feel or have felt you consistently needed to prove your worth because people brushed you off their shoulder. Better yet asked yourself, why do I need to prove myself to anyone?
Have you, or are you currently being ignored for the beautiful person you truly are? I admit I’ve been there, and at times, people still do. Does it mean I care about what those individuals think, no, but like Marilyn said in the quote above, I have feelings too. Our uniqueness deserves to be accepted.
Many men and women hurt one another by inconsiderate behavior. When it came to my talents all I ever wanted was to spread love to this world by my God given gift. Not saying I did not have a support system, but most didn’t understand the level of my truth. They have a different mindset. A majority of people I’ve come into contact with tried to tarnish my dreams. The only shoulder I really had to cry on was my own. In those tears I found the confidence needed to pull through.
Marilyn once said, “Dogs never bite me- just humans.”
Those two quotes so far are accurate with what a lot of us face in our daily lives. Ego is the soul’s worst campaign. When something good comes your way sometimes even those closest to you try to take away the happiness you rightfully earned.
As I gained more success in my life, I swear I watched more people fade away or simply turn a blind eye to me. It’s as if they liked me down, broken and sad. More words Marilyn said: “Success makes so many people hate you. I wish it wasn’t that way. It would be wonderful to enjoy success without seeing envy in the eyes of those around you.” You can stare at someone when you’re speaking and the truth exists in their expression.
One of the most popular Marilyn quotes known and that can describe many events in my life is: “I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I’m out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
We all go through tough times and need some slack when it comes down to it, yet why must one kick another when they’re down; even talk behind their backs and cause more grief. An answer I can never figure out. The ones who stood strong by me, apologized and love me like I’m meant to be are still in my life today. During the process it hurt watching ones I grew close to vanish without even saying goodbye, but with a mocking laugh.
“I don’t want to make money, I just want to be wonderful,” Marilyn shared with much truth. The journey of life is happiest when you work on the person you are. To keep improving the person staring back at you. To be kind. To spread love by being compassionate. I’m happiest when I connect with myself to be a better person than I was the day before. Did you know it’s a fact that if you follow your dreams by being the best person you possibly can, the money will follow behind?
If I choose one Marilyn quote for a tagline on the cover of this piece, this would be it, “If I’d observed all the rules, I’d never have got anywhere.”
I was born to be a rule breaker, not in a sense of evil, but in the one that improves the mindsets of those around. I came out of my mother ready and fingers snapping. I can’t even count the number of times I found myself in trouble for taking a stand for what I believe in, my outspoken behavior and my ability to not listen, but to just go with the beat of my heart. I only listen to others 25% of the time. It is funny when I catch them off guard. Their facial expressions are priceless. Especially old bosses. I knew what I wanted and would achieve it. Rules were nothing but the words of man that had no meaning to my dreams. We are all limitless beings.
Marilyn had a busy life and she stated before, “I restore myself when I’m alone.” I believe we all must take at least a couple hours to ourselves to get our energy levels back to the frequency of positivity. I enjoy being alone, to a point, but another quote Marilyn said that has truth is, “I am alone; I am always alone no matter what.” In the end you can only count on yourself, so make sure you’re spiritually where you need to be.
Even though I am not a woman. A quote I can relate with for both men and women is when Marilyn said, “I have always had a talent for irritating women since I was fourteen.” I never knew what I did to make so many send hate my way until I learned I was just different with my own talent. You can’t make everyone happy, so the only thing you can do is be you because people will just hate you because you are alive. I can remember countless times when my mother would ask me in my teen years, “Paul, why do you only go out with friends every once in awhile?”
I pulled up google to show her these words Marilyn said, “Sometimes I’ve been to a party where no one spoke to me for a whole evening. The men, frightened by their wives or sweeties, would give me a wide berth. And the ladies would gang up in a corner to discuss my dangerous character.” Depending on the situation I would go out and be ignored by groups of people. I told my mom, “I rather feel alone when in peace rather than be the talk of the evening.” It could be anything from people trying to pinpoint if I were gay or not, gossip about the rebellious side in me or if I were with a group of gay men, their boyfriends wouldn’t allow their men, some of which were friends, to even look my way. Hello, I don’t want your man!
When I learned that I wanted to work in the entertainment industry I was between the ages of 3 and 5. I saw Marilyn on the cover of a magazine and my whole world lit. One of the very first quotes I read from her was, “I knew I belonged to the public and to the world, not because I was talented or even beautiful, but because I had never belonged to anything or anyone else.” Another quote I read was, “When I was five, I think, that’s when I started wanting to be an actress. I loved to play. I didn’t like the world around me because it was kind of grim, but I loved to play house. It was like you could make your own boundaries.” That dream, your purpose in life comes to you at an early age. I never lost hope of what I wanted to be, neither did she.
Life can throw many dead ends and from my own personal experiences I wrote a quote on my blog, “Rejection is redirection to the greatness awaiting you.” Later I come to find out that Marilyn herself said, “Sometimes I feel my whole life has been one big rejection.” Like myself, she knew never to give up and neither should any of you when it comes to anything you want in life.
As the world around you becomes bigger, you tend to become smaller. We’ve all been lost some place in our life, even lost ourselves. That’s why it’s a mission of mine to make sure everyone sees the shining superstars we all are. Marilyn had her own idea as well, “We are all of us stars, and we deserve to twinkle.” Finding our special light can be a challenge, usually it is, but we get there. Even Marilyn struggled, “I am trying to find myself. Sometimes that’s not easy.”
“Respect is one of life’s greatest treasures. I mean, what does it all add up to if you don’t have that?” Marilyn was point on. Respect is a term many lack with one another. Learning that you deserve to be treated kindly and should treat others as well changes everything to a more positive life.
We only get one chance to live. Marilyn had a tragic ending, whether it was murder or an overdose, people will never know. I do see a lot of myself in her. Such as how she was fearless even though she was at times afraid. How she didn’t care about what others thought, but was insecure. She set her goals and at times hit failure but in the end she achieved them. Her quotes reflect lessons she learned in life, and many of us can benefit from those lessons. In the end, “Fear is stupid. So are regrets,” Marilyn spoke with such strength. I believe she's right.
Thank you for reading, xo
Life is so unexpected, agree? It's our never ending movie with twists & turns. Those cameras around focus so deeply that at times become so intense you wish you could escape. Images flash as memories trapped never fade. You struggle for a single breath of fresh air, hope for new light to vanish away the darkness or maybe ignite a spark to help see your goal. I am beyond grateful to share that fans sent a tremendous amount of support wanting me to help guide them to a better successful life! This is the podcast page and blog for Paul's Advice On All Things Life.
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