I remember when I first began about 6 years ago, I was on this non-stop train of promoting myself and sharing content—photo shoots, quotes, poetry, articles, graphics, social media, music and of course posts. I haven’t been active as much on my blog or social media in general for a lot of reasons. Nothing dramatic. I took some time to myself away from my career. Also, I’ve been enjoying some peace and quiet…please, does that even exist? If so give me the directions. Ha-ha! I wanted to make this post today to kick off the new season of my blog. I'm sharing what’s currently going on and what’s up ahead for years to come!
No matter what stage of life I'm in I always feel people try to mold me into something I'm not. Or make me out to be someone I'm not. Not anymore. I'm letting go, sharing myself in ways I've never done and whatever adventures await I'm ready for it, are you?! - Paul
When I’m not happy with something I look for ways to grow and/or move forward with a new idea. I’ve been looking at my blog; I’m happy with its look, layout, fonts and the way graphics are made but I’m not happy with the content I’ve been doing or the category names—I need to reorganize my topics and build upon what I’ve already done. A few blogging changes that will be made are listed below:
I have a few ideas of how I will go about it. I am letting the idea sit and when I feel solid on it, I will begin to make changes as needed. I’m playing around with creating a mental game plan first before placing it on paper. So, stay tuned!
Current Writing Project
When I started my writing career, I was super young and had no big picture goal but with age that has changed. I’m proud of my progress, what I’ve been able to achieve and what I’m doing. I am very consumed with my next book which I decided to go forth with a nonfiction project, a memoir.
It’s not what you may think, though!
I spent the last 6 years working on my writing and I’ve seen my abilities grow. I’ve produced 3 manuscripts all combining a total of 180,000k words so that’s like 60 some thousand per-project: one was my first fiction novel, another was a draft of a memoir and the third was the sequel to the novel. During writing the third installment of my novel series something inside me altered. I wasn’t happy with everything. I stopped writing completely.
Truthfully, I wanted to retire from writing all together. I felt the career wasn’t for me anymore. I lost the passion I once had when I first started. I had no idea where it went. I was heading down a slope of DEPRESSION…once again. I didn’t loose passion for creating just the whole business of it in general. When I’m not happy I dig deep and find the path I’m meant to take. With the unexpected loss of my best friend, my gram in 2018 I became even more open emotionally and felt strongly guided in this direction to work on a final draft of a memoir.
Clearly, I wasn’t about to throw away 6 years of work, so I took a step back and let myself go someplace else until I could figure out the next course of action for my career. While my fiction work is far different from a true story a lot of my core inspiration was based on true events but from an exaggerated perspective. One day I sat back and like that the puzzle finally began to make sense. Without realizing it I was writing this book the entire time. Now, some people might be like “A memoir? Really? You’re only 26, or who are you even, or what have you done with your life that makes you capable to write a story about it?” I am a person who likes to share self-awareness and write about lessons I’ve learned with hope of helping others. Early on in my career I was told I wasn’t capable or didn’t have the ability to write a successful memoir because I basically was a nobody. I went down the fiction road instead and often it let me down, unhappy and I really wasn’t being true to myself, but I still followed directions of the business. Don’t get me wrong, I love to write fiction and one day will release a novel series but it’s not the right project for me now. My heart isn’t in the place it needs to be.
From writing fiction I was able to grow my craft in a lot of ways. A memoir when written properly reads as a novel even though I am the subject it isn’t about me but rather it’s about taking the readers on a journey from a time period I picked to be open about and share. During this the lessons, the experiences and even the perspective of my journey so far will be felt through each scene but in a narrative only I can convey because it’s my voice. I’m letting myself be me on paper without any rules or anyone holding me back. Nothing is definite, so I don’t know what the future holds, but I can hope writing this will help and at the same time entertain readers from all walks of life. I know it will be worth it because from what I have done so far this has been my best work. I feel very level-headed and everything is flowing naturally. I have a colorful dramatic background and it was time to stop running from this character inside me that people tried to shut down because he can't be tamed. Ha-ha! I will be sharing a lot of BTS—behind-the-scenes—as well. So, stay tuned.
I know I once stated I’ll never do music again, but I was feeling like a dramatic diva in that moment because I wasn’t connecting with what I was doing. Let me get the facts clear, I don’t consider myself a great singer nor am I trying to become the next billboard hit—I clearly sing auto-tuned music because I love auto tune and I work with people who I get set up with. Sometimes we don’t see eye-to-eye on stuff and then things turn into drama. #AutoTuneQueen #NoShame #HatersGonnaHate
I love to create, write, sing and come up with my own concepts musically. I like to connect my poetry to music and share with people in that form. I am a bestselling poet after all, so poetry is the foundation of my career. Just because I’m not the most amazing singer it doesn’t mean I can’t get into the studio, have fun, create music and do my thing. No one controls me. I can do what I want when I want and how I want. And that’s that. I am so thrilled to share the title of my next music project, ‘Shades Of Pink.’
I look forward to seeing how this turns out. I haven’t been this excited about music in a long time. I’m in no rush but will take you guys along with me during the creative process. I am testing out different sounds and expanding my artistic visions during this adventure. I’m not taking anything serious. I’m going in, being myself and having fun like I’m meant to do and not doing what people expect me to do. When the final product is finished it will be released I have no set date. Below is a demo from a recent recording session I did for this project—some may have a different opinion but it’s my favorite song I’ve done so far. This project isn't about if people will love it or hate it, it's about me being able to say I've done this and I'm proud of it because it came from my heart and creative vision.
In addition to everything besides my social psychology column I am coming up with new ideas to send out for other publications with articles on topics I feel strongly about. Well, there you have it guys. My plate is full. I’m learning to balance everything right now because I do have a personal life beyond my career, like my boyfriend, friends and family. 2019 and beyond is going to be very busy. Kind of scary at how fast life is going but you must make the best of that time you have left here on earth by doing what sets your soul into a blissful melody. One thing is for sure, I am glad to have you following along with me. Until next time…
stay cute, xo
p.s comment your thoughts via email or talk to me directly on social media! I always look forward to hearing from each of you!
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Sassy, Fun, Creative & A Bit Dramatic // Follow Me On My Journey. Stay Cute, xo