We live in a digital age and I vibe with that! By the looks of it many others do too. Social media has become a big part of our life no matter what generation you are from—and a lot of people even make money because of it. Growing up in the social media age came with its pros and cons. The older I get the less I care for it yet can’t stop being part of it. In this blog post, the first to start my new blogging season, I am sharing my thoughts on social media from past to present and sharing behind the scenes of posts I upload to the world.
I've had so many people comment on my life because I don't share photos of me being outside, having fun with my friends, boyfriend or traveling like I do from a mirror-selfie, a selfie or a photo shoot but the reality is, I do a lot more than I share on social media. I don't need to prove myself or get validation from anyone plus my head isn't up my phones ass.
We love it. We hate it. We delete the apps just to re-download…yeah-yeah, we’ve all been there before. Maybe not everyone but the dramatic people have.
Because we love to share, connect, be entertained and everything else that’s fun in the digital world but there’s a huge downside to all of that. We become trapped into this cycle if you aren’t careful. Don't fall into the peer pressures social media has created but if you enjoy it then by all means go for it.
Myspace was hitting the net when I was in middle school which means we all jumped on it without our parents’ approval. The big thing about that was I was able to explore my sexuality even further. I started to grow my hair similar to the style of Justin Bieber before he was who he was and began to form a look that was a bit preppy; bright polo shirts and tan pants. The internet allowed me to be myself but also kept people at distance so I felt safe to be who I am while talking to people I knew and random people who would add my account.
I enjoyed everything about Myspace: picking a song to keep my profile upbeat—Britney Spears would be on my playlist when you clicked on my profile many times—to having my wall decorated with all my favorite people; Kim Kardashian, The Girls Next Store and Sarah Michelle Gellar were to name the few. It was actually fun because it was like your very own blog where you could create a space expressing yourself and sharing what your current vibe is. You also connected with people from all over. Especially in the small town I grew up I didn't quite fit in I felt but having the ability to see a world outside of it made things a bit better.
Funny story real quick, I wasn't allowed to have a Myspace like many others. It was new and most parents weren't comfortable with having their kids on some social networking site and my mother found out because of course I would get caught...she took my blackberry away from me, my laptop so I couldn't take it with me when I left the house, she got rid of the internet for a few weeks and girl, she wasn't happy. At least I had a desktop computer so I was able to play The Sims and Nancy Drew! Ha-ha!
Then other networking sites came into the picture: Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and many, many, many others.
While all of that was great the downside (and maybe this is only me): I always felt the need to look perfect in every photo or if I didn't have a certain number of friends it would make me feel even more like an outcast. I clearly don't define worth in society by that anymore but I couldn’t have fun with it because I became trapped in a compassion mindset at a very young age and people I knew would comment on things that I liked in a mocking matter because I was a bit different.
If you are my age (27) or younger then you basically grew up on social media but also had a sense of freedom prior to the massive takeover of it—while some people tend to only showcase their highlight reel to brag or to give their little ego a boost—only the happy times and the good moments which is perfectly fine—people tend to forget there is so much that goes on behind closed doors and the amount of work that goes into those happy moments. That’s why you should never compare yourself to others or dislike someone for being successful or authentic; you have no idea the amount of struggle it took to get to that point in their life. You should be cheering them on if they're soaring high in the sky and reading about their journey they share. Taking anything you can and applying it to your life to make your own dreams a reality or most importantly, your happiness but again, don't let others define what happiness is to you. You can only decide what it truly means to be happy for yourself.
I’ve been very open about my life and I am an active user on social media--not by choice--but I don’t share everything because I am at the same time a private person. I’ve had comments for years coming at me that would say:
“You never leave your house.” (truth is I really don't carry my phone around with me outside of the house I keep it in my pocket. I get a headache due to not wearing my glasses when I'm out in public.)
“You don’t have a boyfriend." (even though we will be together 6 years this October.)
“You are lying about your career.” (I have nothing to say about that)
"You are this, you are that or whatever the case is." *insert middle finger*
The reality is, while I share my emotions very openly on social media--which as I have grown I am starting to think before I post--my travels, my home life, my boyfriend and other things I keep private to some extent for many reasons, my safety and peace. I do like to share moments to entertain others in photos, in selfies or quotes even whacky videos sometimes to make people laugh or to connect. One day I will share stuff about my life that people haven’t seen but at this current state it isn’t time—but guess what? Just because I choose not to share it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen and that I am someone who sits in my home all day because that isn’t the case at all. I am very open and honest with how I feel both good and bad, to me that's enough. You get a feel of the person I am through my words not my material life or my looks. I am a writer with a dynamic personality that people love or hate. Truthfully, I never intended to fall into the social media rabbit hole but it happened. No matter which way I turn I get deeper and deeper as I do the pressure increases. Nothing I can't handle though.
I often ask why people care about how many likes they have or even how many followers. Then judge people on that…I hope people realize they aren’t the Kardashians and no one is going to care about you as much as the world cares about them either if you love or hate them—believe me I am all for living your dreams but it comes with blood, sweat and tears. If gaining followers and judging if someone made something out of themselves or if you get less or more likes makes you better or less from that person due to that number is a priority in your life and mind, no offense its time to have a serious talk with yourself. Just because you don't have a certain amount it doesn't mean you aren't talented or loved. You need to have a reason for people to follow you, though, beauty only gets you so far and it takes a lot of work to get people to pay attention to what you are saying because everyone has a voice but have you ever asked what is your message and who are you trying to reach? Honestly I only had like 200 people following me when my poetry book came out in 2015 and hit #1 on amazon basically around the world. I had no idea this would happen because it happened so fast. What does that tell you? Don't let the drive to get more followers or likes be what is steering your life.
I’ve seen countless accounts buying followers which is so unfair to those of us who work our asses off to get someplace with our career and I’m not angry about it, just baffled, I’m just keeping it real. If you aren’t part of the anything with entertainment or public service your number count shouldn’t matter at all (or matter period in general but society thinks otherwise sometimes) yet people assume the number of followers you have will get you a one-way ticket to who knows OR it values your worth as a person or how much talent you have. Want a little secret…WRONG! For some that may be the case but the hard work or the talent you showcase will get you that ticket to happiness with whatever work you pursue because if you purse what sets your heart on fire none of that will matter. It will fill your heart up with something so meaningful.
You see the internet is a blessing and a scam. Also, people fail to look at the hard work and dedication someone does if they have a less stellar follower count which is soooooooo beyond annoying. While followers or likes help your career to a degree, like 15 percent. Talent and never giving up on yourself is what gets you to the finish line. Life should never be about fame or having adoring "fans." It needs to be about what sets your heart on fire and what good you will do with it plus who you can help along the way. It's about the person you are when you put down the phone and step away from the cameras, not the person you share with on your timeline. Even though being real online is important life has so much more to offer.
While scrolling on the internet you might see ads about people promoting courses that will help make you rich with their proven system but seriously the only thing you’re doing is helping their bank account while yours might still be suffering. Maybe that isn’t the case for everyone but I know a few people it happened to, I felt so bad. During a few classes I took one of the things I learned about these online gurus and these course sellers is that they used a method called: “One Step Ahead.”
What does that mean?
It means they are one step ahead of you, making you feel like they have all the answers to help make your one-way ticket to fame or growing your business to a success—again that might be the case for some I’m not knocking down anyone who has to make a living but I just hate the lying that these people do to make themselves look better from what they truly are. While online courses are VERY profitable for those who create them and I have bought a few of my own. I think only 2 of the 10 I bought helped me. I prefer buying a published book from someone who is in the real field for 30 dollars over someone who is selling a course for 150 because social media has given them the option to get one step ahead of you…just saying. I don't care if they have testimonies on their website or whatever the case, be cautious of who you trust on social media.
I admit I fell down the rabbit hole of social media but I had no choice because I am an entertainer and a writer. It is part of my job but I also have boundaries. I’ve shared so much of my life and my dreams very publicly since I was 19. At times I regret it...I really do but I was so excited and the benefits are worth it because I am able to do what I love, feel so empowered and hopefully show people anything is possible with life. People judge me every day because of it. People I use to know. People I know now. People all round. Every where I go I see the way they look at me or things they do with how they act. It's pretty crazy how much things have changed but oh well. I'm not going anywhere I'm staying right here.
The conclusion here is simple: just because someone doesn’t post something it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen or that person isn't real. It doesn’t mean they aren’t happy. We all have our reasons to share things and to keep things private. Live in the moment and not worry about taking the snap of what is going on so you can upload to those who follow you. I wish to see everyone living out their dreams but let me keep it real here just like everyone can’t be a doctor, everyone can’t be an entertainer or “famous” but social media has given an illusion that you can. There is SO much work and dedication that goes into this that if you are out buying followers, pretending to be someone you’re not or bragging about everything you’re doing or what you want to be doing you fail to understand that behind the social media highlight reel there is so much going on that some people couldn’t even handle. Never get jealous of those who are making it because the pressure is unreal. Be kind to each other and support each other NO MATTER WHO you are because everyone has a beautiful gift to share to the world in many places.
Live your best life. Be who you are. Follow your passion. Remember, just do it the right way by uplifting others you see doing it and then in return I am sure you will get that same uplift. Don't brag, don't get jealous, just be happy or work on your inner-self so you become content!
Stay Cute, xo
p.s I shared this on social media but wanted to share it here on my blog as well.
It’s hard to believe I was basically 15 when I started to slowly find my way into show business right after my 9th grade speech and drama teacher told me I wasn’t cutout for that atmosphere & she felt it best for me not to continue taking the class—which I did stop but ironically that summer I was casted in a play outside of school and was paid for my role. (16/17 I started blogging) I just suffered with terrible anxiety since I was super young that made me awkward plus weird and it prevented me from doing a lot but here I am! I was never a pretend “diva” it’s the path & my past God laid out for me that created it. I still find it funny that I never realized I was a "diva" until people started to call me one! So funny.
“Laugh and talk behind my back
But they'll never get the best of me, Got 'em saying I can't believe she did it no she didn't, My wild factor's got them crazy, Got 'em saying: yea she did it, But I can't believe it Never said you can't believe” - Jennifer Lopez, Miles in These Shoes.
See you guys in September for the rest of the blog season! You know you can communicate with me via social media sites to share your feedback or send your questions via email/social media. Thank you again for reading I love you all. Sending you all the love, blessings and prayers you need. Take care for now, xoxo
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Sassy, Fun, Creative & A Bit Dramatic // Follow Me On My Journey. Stay Cute, xo