From being publicly body shamed and gay bashed on social media. Receiving unsettling career news and unexpected family health scares. Celebrating 4 years with the man of my dreams, revealing my transformation, breaking new barriers in my career and the official launch of my lifestyle blog. This year seriously flew by, who’s with me when I say that? Today I caught a breath and looked back. It was wild…check out my 2017 summary and the lessons I was able to learn as my blonde ambition took off like never before.
I still slay while the weight of my world is on my shoulders
I decided in December of 2016 it was time to take control of my mental health and removed anti-depressants, but life tested it drastically come early 2017.
So…here comes January I got an email from an agent I met in Philadelphia during April 2016 telling me after almost a YEAR of waiting for her that she will not be taking me on as a client and it’s not like we didn’t have contact in the meantime—but that’s like a year without me sending out my major project because she had requested partial of my manuscript. I couldn’t send out due to negotiations and being naïve I guess. I was devastated I wasted my time with her. My hopeful heart got the best of me during that.
Not even a WEEK later I find out my mom had to go into emergency spinal surgery to prevent her from being paralyzed, then on top of that my Grandma had to go into back surgery to help reduce her pain. Both came out okay, thank you, thank you, thank you God!
That same month I posted a photo from a photoshoot on social media and started to get really nasty comments over and over again on my pages and blog with being called all kinds of names; Faggot, Fatty, Fat, Lose Some Weight, Ugly, Fat Twinkie and other stuff. I was getting gay bashed in paragraphs and being body shamed by complete strangers all while dealing with my own insecurities of losing weight (for myself not anyone else), my families health, plus figuring out a new plan for my major project. It was a lot to take on at once.
A day after from receiving the major rejection from the one agent I took action by starting a class to improve my query letter regarding agent submissions and re-edit the project before going back to square one mid-year around summer time. In February I released a new single ‘Good For The Ego’ and had a contract to release more music, which thankfully I was able to put recording on hold, and it’s definitely staying there. I was going into my second month off of anti-depressants and I needed to focus on me, not spreading myself so thin for nothing.
The pressure of looking great and feeling was totally high. I got a huge taste on what I signed up for.
In May, summer was coming and a continuous family feud reached a new level with other members who completely have been cut out of my life because that type of toxic energy isn’t healthy for me anymore. I can’t keep allowing repeating patterns to suck my energies away. As much as it hurt saying goodbye I had to do what was best for me. Though I had to deal with all of that early on in 2017 you know me; I smile wide, wave and strike a pose no matter what comes my way.
In all reality like I said the pressure of looking great and feeling was on high this year. I legit got a taste of what I signed up for. My best friend Jessica said, “If anything you of all people are strong enough to handle this career. You got this.” She’s right. I was hit with unexpected storms but worked every angle of those cameras getting exactly what I’ve been working hard for. People fail to realize behind the screen, or that selfie-queen seen (people have called me that this year, love it so I used it in here) photoshoot photos, confidence, positivity and happiness I’m a human with feelings but because my life has become more public now some feel it’s okay to harass and belittle me. It’s not okay. That’s not normal behavior, but it comes with the territory and it’s okay because they can never control me and they’re not reading the legal terms and conditions on my site, I can sue in a drop of a call. Those people need to check themselves in somewhere, but I’m thankful because my strength has been enhanced. So thank you irrelevances—that’s what I call my haters I’ll have a future post of my vocab dictionary in 2018.
Summer was coming to an end when the first time in awhile I genuinely felt happy. During all the chaos I still was taking time to focus on centering myself even more so from what I already had been doing. I took on the practice of mediation. Reading more positive affirmations and self-improvement books. Taking more time to spend with the people I love and haven’t seen because if I don’t have myself, family or friends, what do I have? This type of career can suck you in entirely and finding balance is very important. I began to work on my third novel again as summer concluded. My pure joy is working on this novel series but the agent process messes with your mind, heart and soul let me tell ya!
I celebrated my 4 year anniversary with this amazing guy I call mine—you can read all about how we met in person for the first time in this post, because it’s quite a story. I can honestly say I never met a man who is so unbelievable that no one could ever take his place. He’s mine forever and that’s that. I truly do Thank God for him every single morning when I awake. He keeps me grounded. He has been by my side for every career milestone I’ve had. Sharing this journey with him has to be one of the greatest treasures I’ve ever felt.
With this anniversary came the official launch of a project I worked two and half years on ‘A Lifestyle Created From Being Too Sassy: Confessions & Advice On Life From My Dramatic-Self.’
In November I was ready to reveal what I’ve worked the hardest on this entire year; myself! I lost weight, my skin cleared up, I became even more content with who I was, and my blonde ambition took off like never before. I wrote a poem called ‘Queen’ that really shares exactly how I felt when the new me was complete and how I will carry myself from now on.
December was a month for me to close old chapters to start new ones. I stepped out of my comfort zone and began preparing a YouTube Channel for this site, but you can view these videos on my facebook page since the channel is still under construction. I want you guys to see various sides of me since I finally have my blog up and running, plus my skin is fully clearing up so I started to make videos to entertain you even more! I received fantastic business news that I am appealing to a mainstream audience. ‘A Lifestyle Created From Being Too Sassy’ was nominated by Kim, a fellow blogger, who also won The Sunshine Blogger Award for 2017 which was totally unexpected on my end to be nominated and awarded with it. I am so grateful for the opportunity and recognition that happened from the blogging community because I worked so hard on this blog. It serves as the main portal that will follow me for my entire career and beyond. I’m very proud of this development and project. To think my career started with an unexpected bestselling poetry book, and now I received this award on my second major writing project to be released it feels beautiful. I have no words but a feeling of true gratitude—I’ll take care of the steps I need to complete the award after the holidays.
I guess when my family, friends and fans started to call me a Diva they were right, because you can’t take me down no matter what’s going on. I always come out stronger, more fabulous than before and most importantly I still slay while the weight of my world is on my shoulders. The love, support and inspiration from you all never goes unnoticed and is always appreciated. I’m so grateful from the bottom of my heart for each of you. And if you’re feeling down remember just how fabulous you really are because we are in this together, your Queen is ready to rule 2018 like no one has ever seen me before, and it’s time you do the same. Let’s get an Amen!
During the pressure of growing my brand and career, dealing with family issues and the thoughts of something drastic happening to them my lessons this year were:
1. Finding Out Exactly What I’m Made Of
2. Knowing Who’s Truly There For Me On A Different Level because it was cray—why I constantly joke about reality television and how I’d keep you all entertained with my drama and life.
3. The Truth Of Everything I’ve Felt Came To Surface Allowing Me To Say Goodbye To The Old And Hello To The Goodness Here In My Life
4. I’ve Made All The Right Choices For Myself Career Wise because it is falling into place and I’m ready for it. God has a plan, and I put my faith, trust and dedication into using the gift the universe has given me. It’s serving me well and I’m glad you guys are witnessing the rise of my empire.
5. Family And Friends Are Meant To Be Cherished Always—family is everything.
A summary on this season of my undocumented reality show everything I worked hard for was crumbling, but I went to war against the social scene writing nasty things about me, picking myself up from a career bump, removing toxic people from my life and the self-saboteur inside. This year was my do or die--I survived. I’m coming out of 2017 doing everything I set my sights on with beautiful unexpected surprises, moments I’ll always hold dear to my heart, strength that’s unbreakable, happier than ever before and most importantly a crown that shines brighter than I ever had. And guess what? You guys were here viewing it all first hand. Let’s see what the next season brings us, are you ready? Buckle my loves!
Feel free to share your year below, and also feel free to share this post with your social friends. It would mean a lot to me! Stay Cute, xoxo
Be Sure To Keep Up With All This Sass And Follow My Journey
Born Paul Travis on March 11th, 1992. By the age of two, he was writing poems and stories about anything that caught his attention. Since a young age his love for all types of music, and creating influenced his vision of making a positive impact with inspiring fierce confidence to help others define themselves. Later he would find his career as a writer and singer.